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We have the list of the league's 29 coaches ranked in order from best to worst based on a survey of ESPN.com NBA experts. Now, we go to my best and worst on a variety of other topics. And even before we get there, let me apologize ahead of time if some of the same characters -- I mean coaches -- show up in multiple listings. But like in every other walk of life, there are some guys who stand out, and there are some guys who, well, put you to sleep.
|  | | Houston's Rudy Tomjanovich is a coach you'd want to hang with. |
BEST GUY: Rudy Tomjanovich. And being in sports, by that we mean which one of these 29 would you like to go out and have a beer with. While I'm sure it would be fascinating to hear Phil Jackson drone on about the inner implications of Zen Buddism vs. neo-Nazi fascism, the coach whom you'd really like to hang with is Houston's Tomjanovich. Well, at least when he was drinking and smoking. Even now, though, he is a great guy, a regular Joe who, despite his success, seems to have time for everyone. We give a close runner-up to Jerry Sloan -- but, of course, he too has conquered his vices. When did the NBA become the feel-good league? We'll give second runners-up to Paul Silas and Frank Johnson, both good guys.
WORST GUY: Gregg Popovich. The one thing I've learned in covering this league is that most coaches, once you get them out of their pressure-packed surroundings and into a more sedate environment, are actually good guys. They are able to throw aside the boring clichés and talk like normal human beings. But that does not seem to be the case for Popovich. Perhaps it is his military background. Whatever the case, Pop is short and acerbic and doesn't really care about offending people. At least he is winning, because to have those characteristics without success is more than we can stand.
BEST SIDELINE DEMEANOR: Jerry Sloan. Here is our first repeat. The Utah coach rants and raves up and down the sidelines, nearly throwing punches because he gets so angry. And that is how he acts with his own players. It's worth the price of admission just to sit behind the Jazz bench and watch Sloan work. Don't bring the children, though, because they likely will learn words they have not heard before. The best interactions are with Sloan and center Greg Ostertag. We'll describe it like this: Sloan worked hard as a player, Ostertag does not and Sloan does not appreciate it. You can picture the rest.
WORST SIDELINE DEMEANOR: George Karl. Somewhere in his multi-faceted personality, Karl has an issue with power. Or, perhaps it is not an issue, he just wants
to mess with people, and let them know he has it. One of his favorite tricks -- and I'm convinced this is intentional -- is that during a game, he will sit on the scorer's table right in front of people because he knows the coaching sideline is sacred ground and nothing can be said to him during the game. He does it to everybody -- reporters, broadcasters and some poor schlub who has paid $1,200 for the ticket -- unless they are in Milwaukee, where the ticket is $80. Next time you watch a Bucks game -- assuming George is still the coach -- watch him plop down in front of a person and then watch as you see that person's head ducking around to see the game.
|  | | ...while George Karl needs a personal shopper. |
|  | | Heat coach Pat Riley still looks as slick as ever... |
BEST DRESSED: Pat Riley. It's a cliché, but we still have to go with Pat Riley. Let's face it, a lot of what looks good on a person is because of the person's physique, and so Don Nelson can buy the exact same $3,500 suit as Riley and still look like Shaggy. Maybe it's the glasses, but Philly's Larry Brown also looks pretty smart at times.
WORST DRESSED: George Karl. We've already mentioned Nelson, but for my money it's Karl. I'm not really sure what's going on with that whole sweater vest thing, but George, baby, some work needs to be done.
BEST QUOTE: Nate McMillan and Byron Scott. This is a difficult category, because there really are sub-categories. You've got guys like Karl, who will say anything -- including that he thinks money and greed are the reason the U.S. lost in the World Championships, despite the fact that he is the highest-paid coach in the league at $7 million a year and that he spent his entire final season in Seattle griping about his contract. That's why George usually makes the all-interview team. Then you've got guys who are no longer sugar-coating
their quotes. They are done protecting players, they are done making people read between the lines, they are telling it like it is. And so that award has to go to Seattle's McMillan and New Jersey's Scott. You ask them a question, they answer it. Honestly. What more can you ask for?
WORST QUOTE: Rick Adelman and Lenny Wilkens. Now we don't mean to suggest that some of these fellas are unimaginative, so instead we'll just say they have run out of things to say. The worst offenders are Sacramento's Adelman and Toronto's Wilkens. Have you ever had a salt-free, sand-covered cracker chased by a
glass of plaster? We're talking dry.
BEST Xs and Os: Rick Carlisle. All I can point to is this: When he was on their sideline as an assistant, the Indiana Pacers went to the NBA Finals. Now that he is on Detroit's sideline, the Pistons went from moribund to a playoff team. Rick Carlisle might not be the best communicator, but he knows how to draw up a play. And get a basket out of it. We have to give a special nod here to Nelson, simply because he is not afraid to experiment. Nobody ever knows what team he is going to throw out on the floor.
WORST Xs and Os: Lon Kruger. One of the worst play-callers I ever saw was Chris Ford, who basically told his best player to take on the opponent one-on-five and see if he could score. But since Ford has gone the way of the Model T, we have to give this dubious distinction to Atlanta's Kruger. In one game last season, I saw him call about 15 consecutive post-ups for Shareef Abdur-Rahim, even though Abdur-Rahim was getting double-teamed every time and clearly could not pass out of the double. Maybe Lon was trying to make a point to Shareef, but he also made one with me.
MOST UNDERRATED COACH: Bill Cartwright. I have to admit, when Crumbs Krause hired him, I thought there was no way he was going to be good. But Cartwright has put his stamp on the Chicago Bulls and has actually made them modestly successful in his short stint. He has given them attitude, and for a team that lacks talent that is exactly what it needed.
MOST OVERRATED COACH: Isiah Thomas. Even ranked 23rd, Thomas might be given too much respect. Word out of Indy is he does not work hard, he does not communicate with his players and he does not seem to care a great deal about much other than the substantial paycheck he is cashing. He better take this group of young talent somewhere this season or he is gonzo.
Frank Hughes, who covers the NBA for the Tacoma (Wash.) News-Tribune, is a regular contributor to ESPN.com.
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