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| Monday, July 22 Updated: July 23, 9:56 AM ET Baseball's worst moments: painful memories By Jim Caple ESPN.com |
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Loan sharks are different from credit-card companies in one respect. When they charge you an obscene interest rate, they don't hire advertising firms to make you feel all warm and fuzzy about the process. They just cut off your thumbs if you miss a payment. That approach may lack creativity, but it is effective.
I will acknowledge, however, that MasterCard's "priceless'' campaign is damn entertaining. I would never let a bank gouge me with its staggering credit-card interest rates but I love watching those commercials. I especially like the recent Memorable Moments promotion, where the company asks fans to vote for baseball's greatest moment. Lou Gehrig's farewell: selfless. Gibson's game-winner: painless. Ripken's streak: endless. Bobby Thomson's winning homer: breathless. Willie Mays' World Series catch: flawless. Aaron's 715th homer: peerless ... Say what you will about the legitimacy of the list (and my colleague, Rob Neyer, does), that's damn good copy. My problem with MasterCard's 30 greatest moments is that it neglects the corollary 30 worst moments in baseball history. Fortunately, we here at ESPN.com have taken care of that. What was baseball's worst moment? Here are the nominations. 1883: Cap Anson refuses to play against blacks. If he were still alive, he'd probably refuse to be in Cooperstown because it isn't segregated. 1912: Ty Cobb assaults a one-handed heckler. Cobb went into the stands, punched him in the head, knocked him down and kicked him repeatedly. When someone shouted, "Don't kick him! He has no hands!", Cobb allegedly replied, "I don't care if he has no feet!" And people think Barry Bonds is surly? 1917: Babe Ruth slugs umpire. Angry about a couple calls to the first batter, he walked off the mound and punched umpire Brick Owens. If a player did that today, the FCC would have to issue 1,000 more licenses to satisfy the demand from outraged radio talk-show hosts. 1919: White Sox throw the World Series. Really, when you play in Chicago, you shouldn't waste your chances in October. 1922: The Supreme Court rules that baseball is not a business. Where would anyone get that idea, anyway? 1934: Detroit fans shower St. Louis' Ducky Medwick with garbage during Game 7 of World Series. Their biggest sin? They threw bottles that weren't officially licensed.
1942: Commissioner Kenesaw Landis announces there is no color line. Five full years before Jackie Robinson made his debut, Landis announced: "There is no rule, formal or informal, or any understanding -- unwritten, subterranean, or sub-anything -- against the hiring of Negro players by the teams of organized baseball." And just in case you missed his point, he also declared, "Negroes are not barred from organized baseball ... and never have been in the 21 years I have served." And people think Bud tells some whoppers? 1953: Braves leave Boston. And the U-Hauls began gassing up throughout the rest of the league. 1965: Juan Marichal uses John Roseboro's head for batting practice. Baseball fined him $1,750 and suspended him eight games. If he did the same thing today, baseball would have him tried by a military tribunal, stripped naked, buried up to his neck in the desert and forced to repeatedly watch "The Bad News Bears Go to Japan." 1966: Astroturf debuts. And Jay Buhner's knees begin aching. 1970: Bud Selig hijacks Pilots. After one season, baseball astutely realized it couldn't make it in Seattle. 1972: Players strike. See also 1981, 1985 and 1994 -- but please, oh, please, not 2002. 1972: The American League introduces the designated hitter. And somewhere, Steve Balboni smiled. 1973: George Steinbrenner buys Yankees. "I won't be active in the day-to-day operations of the club at all," he said that day. No, he was too busy concentrating on the hour-to-hour and minute-to-minute operations. 1973: Mike Kekich and Fritz Peterson swap wives, kids and dogs. The worst part of it? Peterson also demanded two draft picks. 1975: Cleveland wears all red uniforms. We're still undergoing psychotherapy due to seeing Boog Powell test the limits of polyester. 1979: Disco Demolition Night. It was a nice sentiment, though. 1983: Lee Elia blasts Wrigley fans. He said he was sorry later. He meant to say that they were drunk, too. 1985: Pittsburgh drug trial. Whew. Good thing baseball licked that illegal substances problem, wasn't it? 1988: Steinbrenner hires Howard Spira to spy on Dave Winfield. In related news, Homeland Security director Tom Ridge just hired Spira to run Operation TIPS. 1989: Pete Rose receives lifetime ban for betting on baseball. On the other hand, he avoided the death penalty for his haircut. 1992: Camden Yards opens. Don't get me wrong. I love the park. But its opening ushered in the era of stadium blackmail and staggering salaries/debt that had to be shouldered by taxpayers forced to pay for these $400 million monuments to greed. 1994: Lou Whitaker shows up for union meeting in limousine during strike. His chauffeur set up the burn barrel. 1994: Bud cancels the World Series. The sad part? This wasn't even his worst move as commissioner. 1994: Ken Burns' "Baseball" debuts on PBS. Viewers nationwide immediately called in and demanded a pledge break. 1995: Owners hire replacement players. In yet another keen marketing move, baseball told fans that it didn't actually matter who they put on the field, as long as they wore the right uniforms. Fortunately, a judge disagreed. 2001: Bud announces contraction. Update: The Twins hold a 13-game lead in the AL Central. Bud's Brewers have the worst record in their league and are 21 games back in the NL Central. 2002: Baseball arranges Expos/Marlins/Red Sox swindle. Franklin P. Adams was wrong. These are the saddest of possible words. "Loria to Montreal to Florida ... " 2002: Ken Caminiti admits he won MVP on steroids. Gee. We all thought he got those unnatural muscles, occasional violent impulses and mutated bone structure from eating lots of Wheaties. 2002: The All-Star Game ends in tie after 11 innings. Fans should just be thankful that baseball didn't bill them for the extra two innings. So there you have it, baseball's 30 worst moments. Consider them all and then vote for your least favorite. You won't win any prize. But we won't charge you a 22 percent interest rate on your purchase of that Kenny Rogers replica Rangers jersey, either.
Box score line of the week That's when Dave Burba, recently demoted from the starting rotation, walked the bases loaded and then hit a batter to force in the deciding run in the Rangers' eighth consecutive loss. "If I was an ostrich, I'd have my head in the sand," Burba told reporters. His line: 1 IP, 0 H, 1 R, 1 ER, 3 BB, 0 K, 1 HBP, 1 WP The loss dropped the Rangers to 40-57 and left them 62½ games behind Seattle since the start of last year. They almost certainly will finish in last place for the third consecutive season. Still happy with your decision, A-Rod?
From left field And while nobody asked, here's my list of baseball's 30 greatest moments:
1905: Matty's three World Series shutouts Jim Caple is a senior writer for ESPN.com. |
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